~~My name’s Dannikin and I’m your authorized U.S. Cyberguide.
~~You’ll keep off that website, please. Yeah, that’s probably not for you.
~~~You’re free to go there, if you choose. I wouldn’t advise it.
~~~~~Don’t try to adjust the volume. Even if you do, you can only turn me down, not off.
~~The name, “Dannikin”? Simple. I like Star Wars and my name’s really Daniel. I prefer Dannikin. Seems more science fiction-y.
~~~~~But why are we chatting, thus? Keep moving. You’ve got some things to learn. About our new environment.
~~Where am I watching from?
~~North of Denver.
~~Ever since the Incident, we have all redoubled our commitment to safety.
~~~And by “All” we mean all, including you.
~~We’re here to help you find your way around the Internet. I’m here to show you how to do it, safely.
~~~Isn’t it time you posted something on one of the personal branding sites that is self-revelatory but ultimately optimistic?
~~~Trivial yet positively meaningful? Hadn’t you better?
~~Here’s an Internet poll.
~~~~Please, go ahead.
~~~~~Did you know that by not participating in that poll, you are countenancing the most tawdry of conceivable noncompliances?
~~Non-compliance with certain settled norms?
~~~Ringing any bells, here?
~~~~Do you reckon how awful that’ll be if it gets out?
~~We’re at war now.
~~~We’re on wartime footing, now.
~~~~We’re all getting in line. Against the non-compliant.
~~~~~I’m sure you agree.
~I see you agree.
~Thank you for your input.
~~Stay smart. Don’t ask.
~~~Websites lead to danger.
~~~Websites are an inroad.
~~~~~Websites are gateways to dangerous thoughts.
~Stay away. Besides.
~~~~~We will know you’ve been there.
~~~Turn it off, now.